Funny Heat Jokes

Funny hot weather questions and answers humor: You might as well laugh while it’s burning up outside!

Here are some hilarious and best heat jokes to play with friends and for school kids picnic games.

Funny Heat Q&A Jokes

Q: What does a bee do when it is hot?
A: He takes off his yellow jacket!

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it!

Q: How do heat lamps communicate?
A: Lampost

Q: What did the one pig say to the another at the beach?
A: I’m bacon!

Q: Which is faster, heat or cold?
A: Heat, because you can catch a cold!

Q: How hot is it in Southern California?
A: So hot every fat guy sweating in the city smells like Bacon!

Q: How hot is a Los Angeles summer?
A: So hot that I saw a fire hydrant chasing a pack of dogs!

Q: What happened after the mom purchased a loaf of bread from Albertsons?
A: By the time she got home it was toast!

Q: What do you need to visit Death Valley, Arizona?
A: Dental Records

Q: What do you call the Robin Williams movie about a hot California summer?
A: Mrs. Droughtfire.

Q: What did the air conditioning say to the man?
A: I’m your biggest fan.

Q: What are the only two seasons in Phoenix, Arizona?
A: Hot and Hotter.

Best Heat Jokes

Question: How hot is it?

Possible Answers:

1. The Cows Are Giving Evaporated Milk.
2. The Birds Have To Use Potholders To Pull Worms Out Of The Ground.
3. The Potatoes Cook Underground, And All You Have To Do To Have Lunch Is To Pull One Out And Add Butter, Salt And Pepper.
4. Farmers Are Feeding Their Chickens Crushed Ice To Keep Them From Laying Hard-Boiled Eggs.
5. You Start Buying Stock In Gatorade.
6. The Chickens Are Laying Hard-Boiled Eggs
7. You No Longer Associate Bridges (Or Rivers) With Water.
8. You Can Say 113 Degrees Without Fainting.
9. Satan Decided To Take The Day Off.
10. The Four Seasons Are: Tolerable, Hot, Really Hot And Are You Kidding Me?!
11. You Eat Hot Chilies To Cool Your Mouth Off.
12. I Saw A Dog Chasing A Cat And They Were Both Walkin’
13. Hot Water Now Comes Out Of Both Taps.
14. Every Time I Think About Ice, Water Pours Out Of My Ears.
15. You Learn That A Seat Belt Makes A Pretty Good Branding Iron.
16. The Temperature Drops Below 95, You Feel A Bit Chilly.
17. You’Ve Experienced Condensation On Your Butt From The Hot Water In The Toilet Bowl.
18. You Would Give Anything To Be Able To Splash Cold Water On Your Face.
19. You Actually Burn Your Hand Opening The Car Door.
20. You Realize That Asphalt Has A Liquid State.
21. The Trees Are Whistling For The Dogs.
22. You Start Putting Ice Cubes In Your Water Bed.
23. Your Dream House Is Any House In Alaska.
24. You Can Make Instant Sun Tea.
25. The Trees Are Whistling For Dogs.
26. Your Car Overheats Before You Drive It.
27. Hot Water Now Comes Out Of Both Taps.