Get the most Funny Animal Questions and Answers Jokes for kids, adult, family and friends from our list of all animals.
Funny Animal Q&A Jokes
Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can’t tuna fish.
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: A meowntain
Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A: USB (United States of Bees)
Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted!
Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!
Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny!
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles.
Q: How do spiders communicate?
A: Through the World Wide Web.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry
Q: How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole?
A: With your BEAR hands.
Q: Are you from Narnia?
A: ‘coz you sure make my lion roar.
Q: Wanna go on a picnic?
A: Alpaca lunch.
Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.
Q: What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
A: Chicken Caeser Salad (Chicken Sees A Salad)
Q: Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn’t change colour?
A: He had a reptile disfunction.
Q: What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
A: Autotuna
Best Animal Jokes
- Only Smart People Will Get This: 2+2= Fish, 3+3= Eight, 7+7= Triangle, 4+4 = Arrow, 8+8 = Butterfly
- Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
- I invited a teddy bear to dinner yesterday. I offered him some food but he said no thanks I’m stuffed.
Hilarious Animal Jokes
Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
A: To the retail store.
Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: What has four legs and an arm?
A: A happy pit bull.
Q: Why is a tree like a dog?
A: Because they both lose their bark when they die.
Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
Q: Did you hear about the new breed in pet shops?
A: They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for
help.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!
Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.
Q: Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
A: To break on through to the other side.
Q: Why do birds fly South?
A: Because it’s too far to walk.
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.
Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A: To a crow bar.
Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
A: He was going to make a long-distance caw.
Q: What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest?
A: Look at the orange mama laid.
Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately.
Q: Why do hens lay eggs?
A: If they dropped them, they’d break.
Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels.
Q: Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone.
Q: Diner: I can’t eat this chicken. Call the manager.
A: Waiter: It’s no use. He can’t eat it either.
Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie, of course.
Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?
A: Chirpes. It’s one of those canarial diseases. I hear it’s untweetable.
Q: Why did the farmer name his pig ink?
A: Because he kept running ot of his pen
Best Animal Jokes
- Alligator Jokes
- Alpaca Jokes
- Animal Football Joke
- Animal Jokes
- Ant Jokes
- Antelope Jokes
- Ape Jokes
- Baboon Jokes
- Baby Bears Jokes
- Badger Jokes
- Bat Jokes
- Bear Jokes
- Bee Jokes
- Bird Jokes
- Buffalo Jokes
- Bug Jokes
- Bunny Jokes
- Bunny and the Bear Joke
- Camel Jokes
- Car Accident Joke
- Caterpillar Jokes
- Cat Jokes
- Centipede Jokes
- Cheetah Jokes
- Chicken Jokes
- Chimp Jokes
- Chipmunk Jokes
- Cork In Pig Jokes
- Cougar Jokes
- Cow Jokes
- Cris Cross Jokes
- Crocodile Jokes
- Deadfish Joke
- Deer Jokes
- Dinosaur Jokes
- Dogfight Joke
- Dog Jokes
- Dog Playing Chess Joke
- Dolphin Jokes
- Donkey Jokes
- Door To Door Salesman Joke
- Duck Jokes
- Eagle Jokes
- Elephant Jokes
- Ferret Jokes
- Fish Jokes
- Flea Jokes
- Flies Jokes
- Fox Jokes
- Frog Jokes
- Giraffe Jokes
- Goat Jokes
- Gorilla Jokes
- Grasshopper Jokes
- Groundhog Jokes
- Guinea Pig Jokes
- Hamster Jokes
- Handicap Parrot Joke
- Hedgehog Joke
- Hippopotamus Jokes
- Horny Rooster Jokes
- Horse Jokes
- Hunting Dog Joke
- Kangaroo Jokes
- Koala Jokes
- Lamb Jokes
- Lemur Jokes
- Lion Jokes
- Lizard Jokes
- Llama Jokes
- Lion Wants Beer Joke
- Magic Frog Jokes
- Man With Penguin Joke
- Management Lesson Joke
- Marital Problems Joke
- Meerkat Jokes
- Mink Coat Joke
- Mole Jokes
- Monkey Jokes
- Monkey Business Joke
- Moose Jokes
- Mosquito Jokes
- Moth Jokes
- Mouse Jokes
- Movie Studio Goats Joke
- Orangutan Jokes
- Otter Jokes
- Owl Jokes
- Panda Jokes
- Parrot Jokes
- Penguin Jokes
- Pig Jokes
- Platypus Jokes
- Polar Bear Jokes
- Porcupine Jokes
- Primate Jokes
- Rabbit Jokes
- Raccoon Jokes
- Rat Jokes
- Reindeer Jokes
- Rhinoceros Jokes
- Seagull Jokes
- Seal Jokes
- Shark Jokes
- Sheep Jokes
- Shrimp Jokes
- Skunk Jokes
- Sled Dog Jokes
- Sloth Jokes
- Slow Race Horse Joke
- Slug Jokes
- Smart Dog Joke
- Snail Jokes
- Snake Jokes
- Spider Jokes
- Squirrel Jokes
- Stupid Bird Joke
- Three Mice Joke
- Three Legged Pig Joke
- Tiger Jokes
- Toad Jokes
- Turtle Jokes
- Turkey Jokes
- Two Whales Joke
- Unicorn Jokes
- Walrus Joke
- Whale Jokes
- Wittle Wabbit Joke
- Wolf Jokes
- Woolly Mammoth Jokes
- Worm Jokes
- Yak Jokes
- Zebra Jokes
- Zebra’s Day With God Joke
- Zoo Jokes