Get the most Funny Animal Questions and Answers Jokes for kids, adult, family and friends from our list of all animals.
Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can’t tuna fish.
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: A meowntain
Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A: USB (United States of Bees)
Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted!
Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!
Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles.
Q: How do spiders communicate?
A: Through the World Wide Web.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry
Q: How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole?
A: With your BEAR hands.
Q: Are you from Narnia?
A: ‘coz you sure make my lion roar.
Q: Wanna go on a picnic?
A: Alpaca lunch.
Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.
Q: What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
A: Chicken Caeser Salad (Chicken Sees A Salad)
Q: Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn’t change colour?
A: He had a reptile disfunction.
Q: What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
A: Autotuna
Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
A: To the retail store.
Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: What has four legs and an arm?
A: A happy pit bull.
Q: Why is a tree like a dog?
A: Because they both lose their bark when they die.
Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
Q: Did you hear about the new breed in pet shops?
A: They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for
help.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!
Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.
Q: Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
A: To break on through to the other side.
Q: Why do birds fly South?
A: Because it’s too far to walk.
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.
Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A: To a crow bar.
Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
A: He was going to make a long-distance caw.
Q: What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest?
A: Look at the orange mama laid.
Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately.
Q: Why do hens lay eggs?
A: If they dropped them, they’d break.
Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels.
Q: Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone.
Q: Diner: I can’t eat this chicken. Call the manager.
A: Waiter: It’s no use. He can’t eat it either.
Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie, of course.
Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?
A: Chirpes. It’s one of those canarial diseases. I hear it’s untweetable.
Q: Why did the farmer name his pig ink?
A: Because he kept running ot of his pen