Jokes About Cat: Cats are hilarious by nature with their mischievous antics, so it should come as no surprise that there are loads of great cat jokes out there for one to enjoy with friends.
Whether you are looking for cheesy one-liners to share with your friends and family or knock-knock jokes that would cause even grumpy cat to crack a smile, we’ve got them all here. We have compiled funny Cat Jokes And Puns, Bad Cat Jokes, Dirty Cat Jokes, Knock Knock Cat Jokes, Cat Questions And Answers Jokes and more, that will keep you laughing for a long time.
Cat Jokes One-liner
Cats are like cookies… You can never have just one.
Cats ears are built to allow the human voice to go in one ear and out the other.
Cats spend half their life asleep and the other half making viral videos.
Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners but catscan.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween… now he won’t come when I call him.
I had to get rid of my boyfriend, he was allergic to cats.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.
If sleeping were an Olympic sport, my cat would win gold.
If the Earth was flat, cats would push everything off it.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods… They have not forgotten.
Letting the cat out of the bag is easier than putting it back in.
Funny Cat Puns
Fur real = for real
That cat just gave me the stink eye, are they fur real?!
Purrfect = perfect
To me, you are purrfect.
Feline = feeling
How’s your cat today?
He’s feline fine!
Pawsible = possible
Anything is pawsible!
Hissterical = hysterical
Did you see the latest episode of 8 Out of 10 Cats? It was hissterical!
Kitten me = kidding me
My cat just brought me another dead mouse; you’ve got to be kitten me!
Clawful = awful
My cat thinks my singing is just clawful.
Mewsic
What’s a cat favourite movie? The Sound of Mewsic!
Meowntain = Mountain
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowntain!
Paws = Pause
Now there’s some paws for thought!
Knock Knock Cat Jokes Funny
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans off my kitten!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claws.
Claws who?
Claws the door, it’s cold!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kitten.
Kitten, who?
Quit kitten around and open the door.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cat.
Cat who?
Cat you understand!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kitten.
Kitten who?
Quit kitten around and let me in!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Catskills.
Catskills who?
Catskills mice!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Neil.
Neil who?
Neil down and pet this cat!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claw
Claw who?
Claw Enforcement, you have the right to remain silent.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Catsup.
Catsup who?
Catsup a tree and won’t come down!
Hilarious Cat Jokes
Q: Before a cat fight, what is usually said?
A: “Hold my purrse.”
Q: Before going after a mouse, what did the dad cat say to his family?
A: “Let us prey.”
Q: Did you hear about the cat who won the lottery?
A: He was ecs-Cat-ic.
Q: Did you see the feline stand up comic?
A: They were Hiss-terical.
Q: What do you call a cat who does the bare minimum?
A: A Mere-cat.
Q: What kind of boats do cats like the most?
A: A CAT- amaran
Q: How can a cat uplift a depressed audience?
A: By becoming a meowtivational speaker.
Bad Cat Jokes Funny
Q: How did one cat break up with another?
A: She said, “We’re hisstory!”
Q: How did the abandoned kitty feel when she got a kitten home?
A: Her life felt purrr-fect now.
Q: How did the cat celebrate his second birthday?
A: He threw a huge paw-ty.
Q: How did the cat comic know he was funny?
A: The audience was meow-ling with laughter.
Q: How did the litter of cats celebrate their success at the game?
A: They did so by having a glass of purr-seco each.
Q: How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant?
A: Her test was pawsitive.
Q: How did they know the cat was an excellent fencer?
A: He was Sabre-tooth
Q: How do cat owners know their cat has a good influence on their life?
A: Their cats motivate them to remain paw-sitive in every situation.
Q: How do cats efficiently maintain law and order?
A: By proper Claw Enforcement.
Q: How do cats greet each other?
A: By saying, “Have a mice day!”
Q: How do Cats organize their books?
A: They use a Cat-alouge.
Q: How do cats stop crimes?
A: They call claw enforcement!
Q: How do male cats call female cats to express their love?
A: They say how purr-ty she looks.
Q: How do two cats end a fight?
A: They hiss and make up!
Q: How do you find a cat owner who is obsessed with her cat?
A: They would always keep their cat be-fur anyone else.
Q: How do you know a cat is agitated?
A: He’s having a hissy fit!
Q: How do you sort cats into groups?
A: You put them into Cat-orgiries
Funny Cat Q&A Jokes
Q: How does a cat always gets its way so easily?
A: Because cats are very purr-suasive.
Q: How does a cat boil water?
A: They use a Cat-tle.
Q: How does a cat decide what he needs to buy at a store?
A: By referring to the catalog.
Q: How does a cat decide what it wants from the store?
A: It flips through the cat-alog!
Q: How does a cat make coffee?
A: In a Purr-culator.
Q: How does a cat sing scales?
A: Do-re-mew!
Q: How does a cat smell good all the time?
A: When the cat uses a purr-fume.
Q: How does the cat spend most of his free time?
A: By listening to mew-sic.
Q: How for the cat get a promotion at work?
A: They were Puss-istant
Q: How is a cat similar to a coin?
A: Both have heads on one side and tails on the other.
Q: How is cat food sold?
A: Usually, purr the can!
Dirty Cat Jokes
Q: How would a cat propose to his girlfriend?
A: He said, “Let us get meow-rried!”
Q: How did one cat break up with another?
A: She said, “We’re hisstory!”
Q: How did the abandoned kitty feel when she got a kitten home?
A: Her life felt purrr-fect now.
Q: How did the cat celebrate his second birthday?
A: He threw a huge paw-ty.
Q: How did the cat comic know he was funny?
A: The audience was meow-ling with laughter.
Q: How did the litter of cats celebrate their success at the game?
A: They did so by having a glass of purr-seco each.
Q: How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant?
A: Her test was pawsitive.
Q: In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?
A: When it’s raining cats and dogs!
Q: In which state do we find a lot of dogs and cats?
A: In Petsylvania.
Q: What are cat cops called in the cat world?
A: The Paw-lease.
Q: What cat was a member of King Arthur’s round table?
A: Sir Lance-Ocelot.
Q: What color do kittens love the most?
A: Purrple.
Q: What delicacy do dogs love?
A: Cat Loaf and Clowder
Q: What did one cat say while her friend was complaining?
A: “Tail me about it.”
Q: What did the cat call himself when he started living in an igloo in a European country?
A: An eski-mew.
Q: What did the cat do to his baby on long trips?
A: She made him wear a dia-purr.
Q: What did the cat exclaim when the mouse he was chasing got away?
A: You have got to be kitten me.
Q: What did the cat say to the cow?
A: How Meow brown cow.
Q: What did the cat say to the vet when she went for her checkup?
A: I am not feline good!
Q: What did the cat say when it was confused?
A: “I’m purr-plexed!”
Q: What did the cat say when she got stuck in the hole?
A: Help meow-t!
Q: What did the cats do when they realized they had a bad plan?
A: They decided to (cat)nip it in the bud.
Q: What did the cat’s mother say to her when she was rude?
A: She asked her to be paw-lite.
Q: What did the doctor say when the cat complained of a back pain?
A: He said his paw-sture was incorrect.
Q: What did the kitten have at their birthday party?
A: A pounce house.
Q: What did the mama cat to the cat when she birth to six cute puppies?
A: Con-cat-ulations!
Q: What did the mom and dad cat say about their wedding day?
A: “It was unfurrgetable!”
Q: What did the mom cat say about her intuition?
A: “I just had a strong feline.”
Q: What did the mother cat say to her children?
A: Stop kitten-ing around.
Q: What did the sick cat say?
A: “I feel clawful!”
Q: What did the thug cat’s friends call him when he got caught by the police?
A: They called him a pur-patrator.
Q: What do baby cats always wear?
A: Diapurrs!
Q: What do cats call a big pile of laundry?
A: A meowtain to climb.
Q: What do cats call a nice dinner?
A: “A fancy feast.”
Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies!
Q: What do cats keep in their homes?
A: Furr-niture.
Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
A: A mice-cream cone!
Q: What do cats like to eat on summer days?
A: Mice-cream.
Q: What do cats look for in a significant other?
A: A great purrsonality.
Q: What do cats love to do in the morning?
A: Read the mewspaper!
Q: What do cats put on their French fries?
A: Catsip.
Q: What do cats use to make coffee?
A: A purr-colator!
Q: What do you call a cat sitting on a leaf?
A: A Cat-apillar.
Q: What do you call a cat that is tortoiseshell and white colored?
A: Calico-ordinated.
Q: What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
A: A puss in boots!
Q: What do you call a cat who became a doctor?
A: “A first aid kitten.”
Q: What do you call a cat who lives in an igloo?
A: An eskimew!
Q: What do you call a cat who loves to bowl?
A: An alley cat!
Q: What do you call a cat who starts something?
A: A Cat-alyst.
Q: What do you call a cat who wears shoes?
A: Puss in boots.
Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs?
A: An Octo-pussy.
Q: What do you call a feline chimney sweep?
A: A cat on a hot tin roof.
Q: What do you call a large group of cats?
A: Cat-tle.
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?
A: A meowntain!
Q: What do you call cats that fall over a cliff?
A: A Cats-cade.
Q: What do you call it when a cat is super-stylish?
A: “Haute-cat-ture.”
Q: What does a cat do every morning while sipping on tea?
A: Read the mewspaper.
Q: What does a cat do every time it feels sick and needs medicines?
A: The cat goes to the fur-macy.
Q: What does a cat do when he does not feel too well?
A: He goes to a purr-amedic.
Q: What does a cat do when it gets really agitated?
A: It starts throwing a hissy fit.
Q: What does a cat eat before it’s main meal?
A: A Mouse-bouche.
Q: What does a cat like the most about Egypt?
A: They like the purr-amids the most.
Q: What does a cat like to do on vacations?
A: Visit the meow-seum.
Q: What does a cat like wearing at night to sleep?
A: Paw-jamas.
Q: What does a choir of cats like to sing?
A: “Do-Re-Mew.”
Q: What does the cat say after making a joke?
A: “Just kitten!”
Q: What does the kitten’s mother do to make her sleep at night?
A: She reads out some furry tale to her.
Q: What does the musical cat want to be when he grows up?
A: A purr-cussionist.
Q: What happens when you keep too many animals together?
A: They fight like cats and dogs.
Q: What happens when you tame a wildcat?
A: They become a mildcat.
Q: What is a cat most excited about during Christmas?
A: Receiving gifts from Santa Claws
Q: What is a cat who pretends a lot called?
A: A pawser.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite chocolate?
A: Kit kat.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite color?
A: Purr-ple.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite day of the week?
A: Cat-urday.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite dessert?
A: Chocolate mouse.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite Mexican dish?
A: Purr-ito.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite movie?
A: The Sound of Mewsic!
Q: What is a cat’s favorite novel to read?
A: ‘The Great Catsby’.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Three Blind Mice.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite season?
A: It’s pawtumn.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite vegetable?
A: It is definitely as-purr-agus.
Q: What is a pile of cats called?
A: A meow-tain.
Q: What is the favorite button on the remote?
A: The paws button.
Q: What is the favorite food of cats?
A: Mice Krispies.
Q: What is the study of cats from the past called?
A: HISS-tory
Q: What is worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis.
Q: What job do most cars think their owners have?
A: CAT-ering
Q: What kind of a kitten works at a hospital?
A: A first-aid kitten.
Q: What kind of comb do you use for a cat?
A: A catacomb.
Q: What kind of sports do cats love to play the most?
A: Hairball.
Q: What made the cat upgrade his phone?
A: He wanted to finally get pawtrait mode.
Q: What normally happens when kitties go on a first date?
A: They hiss.
Q: What religion do all cats follow?
A: Cat-tholicism.
Q: What San Francisco food do cats love to eat?
A: Mice-a-roni.
Q: What score did the kitten get in its test today in school?
A: 10/10. ~ Purr-fect
Q: What self-help book should a cat read to be the favorite of her owner?
A: ‘How to be a Good Mousekeeper’.
Q: What should be the best title for a painting of a cat?
A: A paw-trait.
Q: What should you say to your cat when you leave the house?
A: “Have a mice day!”
Q: What should you use to comb a cat?
A: A catacomb!
Q: What song do kittens always request at dances?
A: “Mice Mice Baby.”
Q: What sports do cats play?
A: Hairball!
Q: What state has a lot of cats and dogs?
A: Petsylvania!
Q: What title does a cat go by in the kitchen?
A: “The Whisker.”
Q: What type of cat works for the Red Cross?
A: A first aid cat!
Q: What type of cats become exotic dancers?
A: Mal-teasers
Q: What types of cats purr the best?
A: Purrr-sians!
Q: What was the kitten bowling league called?
A: “Alley Cats.”
Q: What would a cat tell the other if they see someone misbehaving with cats?
A: You ask them to a-paw-logize.
Q: What would you call a situation when a cat wins a dog contest?
A: Cat-has-trophy.
Q: What do cats quote from the movie Bridesmaids?
A: “Help me, I’m paw!”
Cat Jokes About Food
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite cereal?
A: Mice crispies.
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
A: Chocolate mouse!
Q: Why did the cat avoid eating lemons?
A: They made him a sour-puss.
Q: Why did the cat eat the lemons?
A: He was a sourpuss!
Cat Jokes For Adults
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?
A: Good Mousekeeping!
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite sport?
A: Hair ball.
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school?
A: Hisss-tory!
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite TV show?
A: Claw and Order.
Q: What’s a kitten’s fave way to shop?
A: By cat-alogue.
Q: What’s a kitten’s favorite kind of sticker?
A: Scratch and sniff.
Q: What’s another name for a cat’s house?
A: A scratch pad!
Q: What’s it called when all the treats are gone?
A: A cat-astrophe.
Q: When a cat doesn’t want to say goodbye, what do they say instead?
A: “See ya litter!”
Q: When cats need to go to the airport, who do they call?
A: A tabby.
Q: Where did cats live in Ancient Greece?
A: The Panther-non.
Q: Where do American cats like to vacation?
A: The Cat-skills
Q: Where do cats always fly out of when they travel?
A: Kitty Hawk!
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse?
A: Catch!
Q: Where do cats enjoy spending a family day?
A: The mew-seum.
Q: Where do cats sell their second hand goods?
A: The Paw-n shop.
Q: Where do French cats like to hide?
A: Cat-a combs.
Q: Where does a cat go when he hurts his tail?
A: To the re-tail store.
Q: Where does a postman drop off a cat’s mail?
A: The litter box.
Q: Which breed of cats is the loudest?
A: Purr-sian cats.
Q: Which cat threw the biggest and most lavish parties in the 1920’s?
A: The Great Catsby.
Q: Which day of the week do cats love the most?
A: Caturday.
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite color?
A: Purr-ple!
Q: Which movie do cats love to watch over and over again?
A: The Sound of Meow-sic!
Q: Which part of America does a cat love to live in?
A: Conneti-cat.
Q: Which sports car does a cat love to drive?
A: Definitely a Fur-rari.
Q: Who gives presents to good cats at Christmas?
A: Santa Claws.
Q: Why are cats bad at making decisions?
A: They become so purrplexed.
Q: Why are cats great singers?
A: Because they’re very mewsical!
Q: Why are kittens actually excellent bosses?
A: They have great littership.
Q: Why can’t cats go to the jungle to play poker?
A: They cannot play poker in the jungle because, in the jungle, too many cheetahs roam around.
Q: Why can’t cats play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs!
Q: Why could the cat not read what I had written for him?
A: He was il-litter-ate.
Q: Why did her my best friend’s cat not react when she saw me?
A: She probably thought I looked fur-miliar.
Q: Why did one cat massage the other?
A: It was Kneading attention.
Q: Why did some cat friends go to the mall?
A: There was a buy-one-get-one-furry deal.
Q: Why did the cat go to jail?
A: He commited a Feline-oney.
Q: Why did the cat go to jail?
A: He was caught Lion-ing to the police.
Q: Why did the cat go to prison?
A: For Cat-napping his nemesis.
Q: Why did the cat have to go to an accountant?
A: They got caught up in a purramid scheme.
Q: Why did the cat poop on the floor?
A: Because we lit-ter
Q: Why did the cat wear a fancy dress?
A: She was feline fine!
Q: Why did the cats ask for a drum set?
A: They wanted to make some mewsic!
Q: Why did the cats get expelled from school?
A: They were cheetahs.
Q: Why did the gardener have cats in his garden?
A: He wanted lawn-meowers.
Q: Why did the kitty get an “A” on their English assignment?
A: They properly used an independent claws.
Q: Why did the teenage cat call her parents when she found an apartment she liked?
A: She needed them to (cali)co-sign her lease.
Q: Why do cats always get their way?
A: They are very purr-suasive!
Q: Why do cats always win video games?
A: Because they have nine lives!
Q: Why do cats hate laptops?
A: They don’t have a mouse.
Q: Why do cats make horrible DJs?
A: They always paws the tunes.
Q: Why do few cats not have too many friends?
A: Some cats have a lot of cat-titude.
Q: Why do lazy cats not get anything done on time?
A: Because they are busy pro-cat-stinating.
Q: Why does a cat stay near the computer all the time?
A: He waits to catch the mouse.
Q: Why don’t cats ever say “YOLO?
A: ” They have nine lives.
Q: Why don’t you want to play Monopoly with a cat?
A: They tend to be cheetahs.
Q: Why is it hard to trust cats?
A: They have many tall tails.
Q: Why is the lion the king of the jungle?
A: He is Furr-ocious
Q: Why was the animal lover so untrustworthy?
A: She kept letting the cat out of the bag!
Q: Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
A: Because of its bark!
Q: Why was the cat sent to her room?
A: She had a Hissy fit.
Q: Why was the cat so agitated?
A: Because he was in a bad mewd!
Q: Why was the cat so sweaty?
A: It was so moggy outside
Q: Why was the cat very nervous before the boxing match?
A: Because he had a fur-midable contender.
Q: Why was the hippy cat happy?
A: She was Fe-line groovy.
Q: Why was the teenage cat sent to his room?
A: He was in a bad meowd.
Q: Why was the tiger held in contempt?
A: Because he was a liger.
Q: Why were the cats meow so low?
A: He was Whisker-ing