Funny Retirement Messages And Quotes

Send retirees these funny messages and quotes that perfectly sum up retirement. And wish them good luck on starting their new phase of life.

Sending a retirement message to your loved ones, colleagues or friends after a long service year is an indication that you cherish them. However, sometimes it is difficult to wish for retirement except it’s a close pal. You can then add joke and humour to your message.

15 Funny Retirement Messages

1. Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. Congratulations.
2. Nobody ever quits working, they simply get another boss. Your manager lives in your own home. Good luck with your future.
3. Best wishes on retirement; you have retired from office, not our memory.
4. Congratulations, now every day will feel like a never-ending weekend. All of us at the office are jealous and very happy for you. Happy Retirement!
5. I am writing this retirement message, and I thought you retired quite a long ago. You are simply, at last, making it official seconds ago. I haven’t seen your work in quite a while. Congratulations.
6. Retirement is the turning point in your life which makes you realize that you had your priorities messed up all this while. Congratulations, better late than never.
7. Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.
8. The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance. Enjoy!
9. Your new position is to guarantee that you make the most of your retirement. The hours are adaptable, and you have complete independence.
10. All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.
11. Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.
12. Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.
13. Old age, medical checkups, doctor visits, and fragile bones. Are you still looking forward to your retirement? Congratulations.
14. Try not to stress over having enough money to retire. You possibly need a great deal of cash if you plan on living for quite a while.
15. No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditations you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.

Funny Retirement Quotes

1. “Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” — Gene Perret
2. “In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you aware in the afternoon.” — Unknown
3. “He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.” — Unknown
4. “Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet.” — Unknown
5. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
6. “What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired.” — Unknown
7. “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou
8. “Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.” — Unknown
9. “When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” — Unknown
10. “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” — Fred Rogers